Week 1497
Friction.
This is how I would describe much of the year to date and this past week.
Some of the friction has been external. I was in Texas this week for an offsite for work introducing friction into my daily goals.
But most of the friction is internal. I easily could have gone to the gym multiple days last week that I opted not to. I could have spent more time training. More time doing Japanese. More time doing in general.
More time making progress.
But I get in my way.
I could have scheduled an Uber to go to the gym first thing in the morning.
I didn’t.
I could be more intentional with scheduling time to walk or play with the dogs.
I don’t.
I know I thrive in an environment where I am so busy that I don’t have time to think, but I refuse to put myself back in that position.
I have been telling myself that I am recovering from all of the work I did last year. Why?
Am I really so exhausted that I don’t want to make progress in the areas that I decided that I want to make progress in?
Really?
Or am I just letting a lesser version of me get in the way?
In the way of what?
I have been playing with this question for years.
Success?
If I define success as achieving what I want out of life, sure.
But why do I want these things?
Is it okay to want to do things just for the sake of wanting them?
Do you need to have a higher purpose?
Does the higher purpose have to drive you?
I mean, if I want to show that anybody can accomplish what I want to accomplish, if I want to be a role model, to make an impact, shouldn’t that be enough to fill me with vigour to attack life with a lust knowing that any singular moment could bring my demise?
I mean… It should. But it doesn’t.
The purpose states my intention. Who I aspire to be. But if I aspire to be that person, there is a gap.
The gap is the inaction.
It’s the friction that I allow to deter me from what I want.
It seems so simple.
No.
It is so simple.
Just take fucking action.
But it isn’t.
Stupid emotions get in the way.
I logic to myself, “if you take a nap, you’ll feel better and be more alert. You’ll do better work.”
Then another week passes.
And another nap.
And another week.
Do you really want this?
Or are you just trying to make yourself suffer in self pity?
Who does that serve?
Not you.
Nor the people you want to serve.
So why must we play this game?
This game of forced suffering.
Of getting yourself to the point where you are tired of the pain and forced to act?
Pain only pushes you to do just enough.
I mean, you are stalling at the gym because you are playing an avoidant game of not wanting to deal with the people there.
But is that worth deferring that goal for another 3 years?
No.
So why do you allow yourself to slip?
At the end of the day, it’s you against you every day.
All it takes is action to progress.
Sitting down to write this even though it’s late.
Walking the dogs and doing their training even if it’s cold.
Studying Japanese even when it zaps your energy.
You have a why. You have a purpose. You know you can pivot, but be mindful of the endless pivots coming from friction versus a change in values.
Week in Review
Now that my internal monologue is over, it’s time to reflect on the week.
I was clearly a bit annoyed at myself for what I didn’t get done but it’s important to recognize what I did.
I finally decided to suck it up and follow the recipes from Forever Dog after weeks of looking at different foods that I could feed them to convenience myself more.
I also came to the conclusion that if they are shitting their brains out on their dog food, I should probably switch it again.
I hate feeding kibble but the total cost of feeding two Danes all fresh is between 1k and 2k depending on the approach that you take and we can’t do that quite yet.
I was more intentional when I was back from my work trip about walking the dogs or taking them to the park to play together.
I knocked out a lot of work in a limited work week.
I made sure that the plants were watered (little wins, little wins).
I can’t really think of many other wins but it’s something and while I don’t mind giving myself a hard time, I think it’s good to recognize the good as well.
I have been toiling more and more with the idea of going deeper into the plant-based space and leaning from “vegetarian” into “vegan.”
I don’t really have any desire to perfectly adhere to those labels nor harass people about what they are doing but this feels like it ethically aligns with who I am and who I want to be.
I care a lot about animals and don’t view our lives as more important than others.
Except for mealy bugs. I have big beef with them.
I also think our ability to think about ethical issues is a bit humorous.
Could you imagine if a killer whale felt guilty about eating a seal pup?
A lion about a gazelle?
It’d be a tough life for an obligate carnivore.
Unfortunately, I think if we have the ability to feel compassion and empathy, we should act on it. Especially when we have the single greatest impact on all species across the planet.
I also recognize that if it was my job to slit the throat of a cow, I would just opt not to eat a burger instead.
Slitting the throat of some lettuce is a lot easier to live with than inflicting temporary suffering on something for my gain.
I also think it’s humorous that what I view as ethical kinda directly conflates with my life.
I want to get huge.
I mean, I am huge but like you know… muscles and stuff…
I love having dogs…
I love having a wife who loves having cats…
Okay, I love the cats too.
I haven’t come up with a solution to this and I will not be getting rid of my pets but I can make a significant impact if I’m not consuming most of my calories from meat sources.
I know they make vegan dog food but I’m not sure that I’m sold on purely plants to animals who clearly aren’t as well-adapted as we are to eating fruits and veggies.
Although, Ollie’s (one of our cats) desire to eat pumpkin puree could sway me….
Listening to:
More music at the gym because it tunes out the excessive amount of people around me at any given moment.
Newest song: Fishnets by Croosh
Rich Roll’s Podcast
Avg Weight - 237.6
