Week 1494

Anxiety is a byproduct of inaction. 

Lately, I have been feeling like I am not doing enough. Like I am spinning my wheels and going nowhere fast. 

I am a week behind where I should be with my workouts having taken time to focus on the move to the new house. I have been behind on gaining weight (I know, woe is me - poor bastard just can’t seem to gain weight) and haven’t been eating as well as usual with the transition. I have done two training sessions with my dogs since the move and have only walked with them twice.

I have been intentional in taking more time to play with them, putting healthy toppers on their food as I get them back to an appropriate weight (both are already back to a healthy weight but I want another 10 lbs or so on Tru), and made them the Beef and Gumbo recipe last night. 

I have also been feeding Sydney more (historically, we decided that it was better if she just door dashed food since she isn’t a huge fan of me meal-prepping). 

All of these things bring me joy and it has felt nice to take more action as it comes to taking care of everyone’s diets. 

With the move, I joined 24 Hour Fitness and have been… Not enjoying the congestion with how busy it is at their facilities. I got some validation on the decision, though, by way of a message from my old gym that they are having to close due to a failed lease agreement. 

Talk about good timing. 

While I am adjusting to the locations that I can easily go to, I have enjoyed getting into the gym consistently again. 

Speaking of consistency—I am actually writing this on the day I am supposed to. Look at me go! 

My office being a shit show also has remained consistent in the move, despite the rest of the home being put together. 

While I am in the home vein - immediately identifiable pain points are that the wifi is garbage in my office and I have spent over an hour in a week troubleshooting wifi connection. I am not used to having to do this as I had an ethernet port in my office at the townhouse. I just requested a quote to have a company do this for me (I prefer not to learn how to do this). We also have a ton of static electricity and are shocking ourselves all the time, especially when we are upstairs. This is leading to a strong desire for a whole-home humidifier. My wife has allergies to our pets and continually gets bloody noses due to the lack of humidity and this seems like it could be beneficial to her and helpful in reducing the static in the winter months. 

The transition to letting the dogs play with each other in the back yard has been delightful aside from not picking dog poop up each time they go. Nothing like the dogs wrestling their way into their own shit. 

I still love watching them play in the yard while it’s 0 degrees out. They are able to have fun while I’m able to not get yanked all over the place, simultaneously freezing my ass off. 

Reflecting on the initial line, I have been taking action this past week, just not doing everything that I want to. 

I have been consuming more than I want to and producing significantly less. I keep catching myself getting sucked up in fictional situations while thinking of the emotionally engaging videos that are pervasive on social media. Situations that I am unlikely to be in and have no control over. 

When thinking of this earlier today, I realized that I still worry about things outside of my control far more than I should. I ultimately don’t have control over much outside of the actions that I take on a daily basis and that is where my focus should lie. 

I’m not going to be perfect, nor do I expect myself to be. If I focus more on my actions, I can manage my suffering better. Afterall, suffering due to the work is much better than the guaranteed suffering of inaction. 

Weekly Avg Weight: 233.1