Weeks 1504 & 1505

Admittedly, I have been side-tracked for a while now. 

The car decision has had me in a research rabbit hole that I am beginning to escape from. Beginning. 

I’d love to say that I have been perfect. That I have been progressing perfectly with all of my goals. But I haven’t. 

I’ve been solid with the gym but inconsistent with my diet. I’ve been… Very inconsistent with Japanese. 

Why? Because I just had to replace the drivetrain on my Outback. The front and rear differential plus the transmission at 92k miles. 

That paired with an oil leak has had me wondering what to do next. 

The idea of a new car is tantalizing. I could get a larger vehicle that fits our family better (predominantly the dogs and I - Syd is a convenient size). I could have the creature comforts of a newer vehicle. Ventilated seats. Hands free cruise control. Lower gas mileage. Okay - maybe not that one. A smoother ride. Better handling. 

Android Auto. 

Oh sweet sweet Android Auto. How I long for you. 

What better way to get you than get a new car? 

I’ve done a lot of research - leveraging ChatGPT, Claude, and Gemini to help with my decision making. 

I initially was looking at a Tahoe but all of my creature comforts aren’t available unless I get the High Country. At that point, why not just get the Yukon Denali? 

Oh, but if I want decent infotainment, I have to get the ‘25. That’s a big price tag…

For that price I could get a… 

A luxury vehicle. 

One that someone has eaten the front end cost of. 

One that suits me so much better than a land boat. 

A BMW X7. 

But… it doesn’t have the reliability of a Toyota, Honda, or Subaru…

I just replaced my transmission at 92k miles. 

I know that I could be at fault for this but I think it was an auto shop that messed something up when changing the differential fluid. The car was making a noise it hadn’t made before that I chose to pass off as me going crazy and there was a sudden 3 mpg drop in gas mileage that didn’t happen until after I took my car in for servicing. 

Hmmm. 

Either way - I didn’t call them on it so it’s my problem regardless of who is at fault. 

Back to the X7. 

So luxurious. So much nicer. So much more… dare I say, pizazz? 

We love my wife’s X3. It’s a great small SUV and has held up better at the same mileage than my car… and it’s so much nicer. 

What to do what to do. 

To inform myself, I took my car to another mechanic and got the valve seal changed to stop the oil leak giving me anxiety and they fixed a loose tire that was somehow got by a lot of people that have done maintenance on my car that was causing my car to squeak anytime it went over bumps. 

After all that, I’m still convinced that my car isn’t shifting like it should and it’s giving me a small but present anxiety. 

But the idea of spending a lot on a much nicer vehicle is giving me a different level of anxiety. 

So what do I do instead of my Japanese? 

Research. 

And I think that has resulted in a decision. 

Get the X7. 

I’d regret not getting it more than getting it and the only way I will know if the luxuries are worth the cost to me is getting it. If I get another Subaru or car that lacks what I want, I’m very likely to regret not getting what I wanted. Afterall, I have regretted not getting the ‘18 Outback instead of the ‘17 as I have lacked Android Auto for the last 7 years. 

It’s fine. I’m fine. We are fine. 

The X7 suits my needs and fits my wants for less than the non-luxury full size SUVs that I am looking at. 

It’s more fun as a daily and simply suits me better. 

I’m not a rough and tough dude. 

I’ve got the soft, well-manicured hands of a white collar employee. 

I mean - uh yeah, I lift, bro. 

So now the decision comes to timing. 

I want to wait two years. 

That’s only if I can get the anxiety and trust issues with my current vehicle to subside. 

If I can’t get there… This year it is. 

And this all wouldn’t have been more than a thought in my mind if I didn’t have to pull over on the side of the highway with a car full of animals after the front differential broke. 

All that is a long way to talk you through how I cope with large decisions and to give myself an excuse as to why I’ve been a slacker. 

I did have an interesting conversation with Claude this weekend about my values and deepening my understanding of myself. What I found very helpful in this was reading what Claude wrote and correcting what felt wrong - deepening our understanding of me. 

Additionally, I am following a post from Lingq on how a woman became more fluent in Polish and am emulating that with Japanese. I have been doing it for a whole day so not much of an update here but what I did differently was leveraging my Wanikani API key to allow it to see what words I am stuck on in wanikani and using that to tie vocabulary into my lessons. 

Genius, I know. 

Now I just need to do my Wanikani so I can progress.